…in the pinoy universe, it’s christmas songs that we anticipate and not “wake me up when september ends” when august bids goodbye - i know, year in and year out, i cringe whenever i get my unfair share of hearing what can’t be unheard.
still, it’s august and with just 10 days to go, i am unsure how to sum up the middle of the third quarter in my current pursuit of personal enlghtenment. the end of this quarter would mark another year in my life, which, i can proudly say is filled with professional achievements but still, here i wait for the one elusive thing i had longed for. venti after venti of starbucks coffee, i ponder in solitude. i ask myself the whys that may or may not be answered and if strangely, as if my own unconsciousness betrayed me, in my dreams i dream of work like it is all i cared about.
on the onset of august, i decided to start reading again and kicked that off with “manila noir,” a collection of short stories which suited my taste for nostalgia. As expected, i enjoyed each narrative and kept my mind off work for one to two hours as i visualized manila’s heart of darkness. it was sad when i got to the end so i bought haruki murakami’s colorless tsukuru tazaki when it came out.
now this novel, despite the criticism, had me at it’s teeth. unlike previous murakami novels, this one was easier to read and for some reason, with no talking cats, i felt drawn to tsukuru, the colorless protagonist. it was, as if, by coincidence, i saw myself.
granted it is what keeps a reader hooked, i offer no profound explanation other than i inow what it is like. while i cannot say i am colorless, there is comfort in knowing my pain is universal even if it is deep and as much as possible, kept from being fully expressed to the small social circle i keep.
unlike tsukuru, i am the image of strength and aloofness which masks my intovert self. that alone makes it hard for me to maintain whatever my extrovert identity facade had built for myself.
37 years and still socially awkward.
halfway through the novel, no talking animal, all internal monologue, flashbacks and occassional social interaction. i’d pause from time to time to contemplate and take a sip or light a cigarette. the best part of solitude is, you are your own good listener. thereis a certain level of comfort reached but just the same, once you are done talking with yourself, there is reality to dread.
for some reason, i have a feeling that “jingle bells” would be the first christmas song i’d hear commercially for this year in september.
#people #marikina #streetlife #streetphotography #blackandwhite #bnw
#marikina dreaming #blackandwhite #bnw #streetlife #streetphotography #people
nothing like solitude to start the bussiness day. thing is, i kept asking myself if white is a color. 120+ pages into #harukimurakami’s #colorlesstsurukutazaki and i wonder if white and colorless are related. #08192014 #starbucks #book
the campy #batman. well, i do love #adamwest hahaha and there’s plenty of dick…you know, dick grayson as in robin/nightwing and whatever spy name he uses nowadays (damn you new 52). #dickgrayson #dccomics #comics #blackandwhite #bnw #08172014
me, myself, and i with books, some comics, and a venti iced cafe latte #08152014 #blackandwhite #bnw #books #comics #starbucks #sundays
balloons and dreams #08172014 #pinoy #blackandwhite #bnw #streetphotography #streetlife #marikina #people
the hardest thing to be today. yes, to be. cute touch though #coffeebean #wut #08142014
having an eggs ben at #thecoffeebean before my shift. kinda messy to eat but what the hell, it’s good! #coffeebean #08142014
throwback thursday, bangkok, circa 1984 (?). #tbt #blackandwhite #myfamily
38 seconds. #marikina #people #blackandwhite #bnw #08122014 #streetlife #streetphotography